Give the Man a Crack Pipe

I read a story today about how the municipal government in Ottawa has decided to continue to fund a crack pipe program. The program is designed to provide clean crack pipes to fellow citizens that care to partake a little more than most. Ensuring (in some cases) that the less responsible folk are only destroying their own brains and not spreading one or more incurable diseases around.

At first I almost filed the story in the "Here We Go Again: Wild Spending" file but I began to warm up to the idea as I read on. I actually believe that it's important for a society to be constantly thinking of ways to relieve the suffering of it's hopeless souls. A blanket here, a little warm food and a clean crack pipe there it's the very least we can do. Give them a sign that no one has turned their back on them.

So that's fine about the spending but there was a far more interesting side to the story. I began almost instantly thinking about what went into the design and construction of a government issue crack pipe?

At first I can imagine that there must have been years or research. Followed by a series of prototypes and testing. The next step would be contract bidding. Dozens of Canadian manufactures clamoring to be the winner of the crack pipe contract. Once the highest priced most inefficient manufacturer was chosen I can imagine the work was swiftly outsource to a Chinese factory.

Five years later the first Government sponsored crack pipe hits the street. It cost .10 cents to build, and Ottawa pays $30 a piece. Crack heads are generally pleased by the performance of the device. It ranks much higher than the pop can but slightly below the safe pin and Bic pen tube.